Ugly Like Me

I heard a song on the radio the other day that I hadn't heard in a few years. I was on my way home from work, flipping through channels, trying to unwind from what had been a long and stressful day at work. Truthfully it had been a long month of work getting ready for another ministry year launch. As with almost anything we do in life, the kick off of a new year presents the opportunity to step back and see the bigger picture, or get so lost in the details that we lose perspective on who we serve and why we are here.

This particular day was a "lost in the details" day. Despite checking several things off my "to do list", I left work feeling more overwhelmed by what had to be done tomorrow than I was when I started work that morning. Then a song came on the radio...

The song was "Outside" by Staind. I was familiar with the song from radio play in my college days, but I honestly had never paid attention to the lyrics. For whatever reason, a couple lines from the chorus jumped out at me that day.

I can see through you
See your true colors
'Cause inside you're ugly
You're ugly like me

I am not certain what the song is about, but in this particular case I couldn't help but think about the students we serve. They are bombarded everyday with products and messages that are packaged neatly, but offer them false hope. As adults who watch youth culture, it is easy to believe that if we package ourselves nicely, we will have the opportunity to really influence students with truth, but nothing could be farther from the truth. Students can see through us, and they know we are "ugly" too.

This is why authenticity in our relationships with students is so important. If we pretend we have it all together, we are only fooling ourselves. Students can smell fake coming a mile away. They may spend massive amounts of money on products the media has told them will make them whole, but the slightest hint of fakeness in relationship will scare them away instantly.

We all really desire to be authentic, but are we willing to do what it takes to be authentic? Are we willing to be vulnerable? Are we willing to let students see the ugliness in our story?

I'm not suggesting that we should walk around with our hearts on our sleeves. It is extremely important that we maintain professionalism and draw healthy boundaries, but we need to balance that by owning our mistakes and letting students take an honest look at who we are and where we have come from.

Important Note: There are some things in our stories that students don't necessarily need to hear. Being authentic isn't about airing our dirty laundry or telling our deepest darkest secrets, it's about about maintaining a healthy vulnerability about our struggles, and talking about God's work in our lives through these experiences. Discernment is of extreme importance.